Armageddon In Retrospect by Kurt Vonnegut

Author:Kurt Vonnegut [Vonnegut, Kurt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780399155086
Publisher: New York : G.P. Putnam's, c2008.
Published: 2009-04-07T04:00:00+00:00

That night, Elmer prayed for a new husband for Ivy, a stout heart for Ethelbert, and a merciful death and paradise for himself on the morrow.

“Amen,” said Elmer.

“Maybe you could just pretend to be tax collector,” said Ivy.

“Where would I get the just-pretend taxes?” said Elmer.

“Maybe you could be tax collector for just a little while,” said Ivy.

“Just long enough to get hated for good reason,” said Elmer. “Then I could hang.”

“There’s always something,” said Ivy. Her nose reddened.

“Ivy—” said Elmer.

“Hmmm?”

“Ivy—I understand about the blue dress all shot through with little gold crosses,” said Elmer. “I want that for you, too.”

“And the drawers for you and Ethelbert,” said Ivy. “It wasn’t all just for me.”

“Ivy,” said Elmer, “what I’m doing—it’s more important than those horse drapes.”

“That’s my trouble,” said Ivy. “I just can’t imagine anything grander than them.”

“Neither can I,” said Elmer. “But there are such things. There’s got to be.” He smiled sadly. “Whatever they are,” he said, “they’re what I’ll be dancing about when I dance on air tomorrow.”

“I wish Ethelbert would get back,” said Ivy. “We should all be together.”

“He had to check his trap,” said Elmer. “Life goes on.”

“I’m glad them Normans finally went home,” said Ivy. “It was allo and hien and hélas and zut and poof till I thought I’d near go crazy. I guess they done found Robert the Horrible.”

“Thus sealing my doom,” said Elmer. He sighed. “I’ll go look for Ethelbert,” he said. “How better could a man spend his last night on earth than in bringing his son home from the forest?”

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